One of our worst enemies as we are faced with challenges is to succumb to self pity. And even if you have been facing what seem to be insurmountable challenges self pity will only keep you stuck right where you are. Today begin to acknowledge that self pity is a sign of insecurity. You want to be pitied because you crave attention, and without pity, you may worry that nobody will care about you. There is something inherently alluring about having a victim mentality. If you believe yourself to be a victim, you surrender your personal responsibility, which essentially gives you “permission” to blame someone or something else for your negative situation. And blaming others is such a waste of time. It also means that you somehow believe that you “deserve” pity. So if something bad happens, your ego seeks out pity in order to reinforce a victim mentality, which then allows you to abdicate your personal responsibility to do something to change your circumstance—while receiving attention that you might associate with feeling important or loved. Today, begin to listen to the victim stories that you may have been telling yourself like the unfairness of it all and how you have it more difficult than others. When you notice yourself engaging in pity-seeking behaviors, short-circuit your conditioning by practicing gratitude and recognizing how good it feels. Instead of focusing on how you have been wronged or hurt, immediately think about something positive in your life. Repeatedly practicing gratitude will reverse the conditioning that caused your behaviors in the first place and help you create positive feelings without needing negative reinforcement. Over the long term, you need to build a sense of self-worth by accepting personal responsibility for your life and consciously choosing to change the situations that aren’t working for you. When you feel like you control your own fate, you stop being a victim and you feel far more valuable as a person. Today, substitute your sad, victim stories with tales of victories that you have in reality accomplished. Know that gaining self pity is not the road to self actualization or for that matter happiness. Today, know that you always have a choice to perceive things differently. You can focus on what’s wrong in your life, or you can focus on what’s right. Today choose to see what's right in your life.

Just for today, I choose to feel good about myself. I remind myself each morning that I have the choice to feel good about myself. It is a new habit for me to cultivate. I release the need to blame anyone. I always have the power to change my life and my thoughts. I am safe. I am strong and out of this situation only good will come. And so it is.