Anger is our body’s response to a perceived threat. It triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response, during which our heart rate increases, we become tense and adrenaline is released. As a result, we often spiral into reaction mode in order to protect ourselves. Although we tend to view anger as a negative emotion, I have come to learn that anger itself is a valid emotion, just like happiness or sadness. And it does, in fact, serve a valid purpose. Anger sends a message to our body and brain that something painful within us has been triggered and is asking to be acknowledged. However, since most of us do not feel comfortable with anger, we avoid it or act inappropriately since we have never been taught how to deal with our anger in a constructive and healing way. And, because 2021 will be filled with social unrest, you and I will undoubtedly be triggered by many people, places and things. And although goodness will eventually prevail, you and I need to learn better, more constructive ways of dealing with our anger. And, we can begin today. Today, begin to appreciate the importance of pausing before you react-of stepping back, going inward, and instead of reacting in explosive ways, begin instead to explore where the triggers for your behaviors and reactions stem from. When you experience that old familiar feeling of anger or frustration bubbling up inside you, don’t react. Instead of erupting like a volcano pouring out hurtful words and reactions, try pausing for a moment. Today, take some space to reflect and name the emotions that surface—maybe fear, resentment, shame and explore underneath the anger. Our conditioned responses and behaviors are our defense mechanisms, the coping strategies we learned to protect yourself in the world. Today, acknowledge that you’ve always done the best that you knew how to based on what you learned growing up, and you’re now doing your best to change. Remember, every step you take brings you closer to personal freedom. Today, practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly, and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.

Just for today, it does not matter what other people do or say. What does matter is how I choose to react and what I choose to believe about myself. I choose happiness and peace no matter what they say, do or think. I release the need to judge or criticism anyone, including myself. We are all living the best way we know how. I am safe and I accept that everything is always working out for my highest good. And so it is.