Many of us grew up putting others’ needs and wants first. We learned early that doing things for other people and accommodating their wishes and needs gain us attention and approval. It may be only in those moments that we felt good enough and deserving of love. And, inside every people-pleaser is a little child who never felt worthy of love and was afraid of being rejected and abandoned by his or her loved ones. Being good and nice and striving for approval is a way to try to suppress the fear. Many of us take this fear into our adult relationships too. And as adults, people-pleasers tend to overestimate other people’s imagined negative reactions to what they do or say. They work hard to gain and keep love and friendship, but assume those ties are easily broken. Realistically, it’s highly unlikely your loved ones will reject you if you don’t do what they want. They might be disappointed or upset, but ultimately they’ll be able to cope with their expectations not being met. Regardless of their response, you aren’t responsible for their emotions or actions. When you know this, you can feel more secure about saying no to others. And that in turn helps them to respect your boundaries. Today, instead of looking for validation from other people and the outside world, consciously look inward. In order to ease your fear, it’s important to face it, no matter how painful it feels. Understanding your fear will help you to move forward . Today, set your intentions to provide yourself with enough self love that you do not need to get it from every person you meet. You owe it to yourself to put your people-pleasing ways behind you. You owe it to yourself to take care of you first, because that is the only real way you can truly help other people. You owe it to yourself because you are so deserving and because you exist.

Just for today, I do not have to earn love. I am lovable because I exist. I am a master of setting healthy boundaries that save my time, energy, creativity and well being. I do not need to make others feel good. They are responsible for their own happiness and feelings. I reclaim my power now and consciously create the life I desire. I am worthy of all that is good in life. And so it is.